Today : 1:59 p.m I just finished reading a very depressing blog entry christian .here I have a copy of what christian expressed in his blogsite. extremely sad and heart touching ..
I would always think to myself, is it all worth it? Is it even worth trying anymore? Sometimes I just feeling running away... Far off to the distance... Where I can be alone. Every night I cry myself to sleep. I wake up with sadness written on my eyes. I go to school, get bullied, then go back home. I never had friends. I never fitted in. People just knew me as the 'lonely kid' I was perfectly fine with that name, because it was the truth. My mother died when I was born. My dad tried his best to raise me, but he just kept drinking and smoking, and gambling. Every time I go home, I see my father laying on the floor. I would always just run to my room crying. Why did God give me this life? Why do I need to suffer? I have no one by my side. I can't even trust my own father. I have no friends to laugh with, nor family that are alive. I know that staying in the last is bad, but no matter what.... I can't forgive God for what he gave me. Everyday when I walk to school, I see a little kid walking with his or her mother, it makes me want to cry every time. Nobody understands me. Nobody cares for me.
We all are meant to die at some point. Plus, who would care if I died? I often cut myself, even if other people think it's stupid. I can't be happy, so I chose to be sad and have pain. I once asked the guy that I liked that I liked him... But he just made fun of me, calling me a 'loser' and other things. I once had friends... But they all turned my back. I thought I could finally trust someone... But I was wrong. I decided to get a pet hamster. I treated it with all my heart. But it died after two days.
Just typing this makes me want to cry. I have no friends. I have no family. I have nobody to trust. Why doesn't anybody understand me? Why can't I just be normal, and have friends and a family. I never chose to have this life. I did nothing to deserve it! I just... Want to... Die... And leave this world for good. It's not like anyone would are if I died, everyone would just go on with their daily lives.
Dear : greenstarwberri